Understanding the Development of Relationships in Young Adulthood

During young adulthood, developing individuals are presented with the issue of intimacy vs. isolation. That is to say, a young adult either learns to develop close, romantic relationships, or he or she feels socially isolated from peers (Berger, 2005).

Obviously, it’s desirable for a young adult to be able to develop intimate relationships, but knowing how to go about this can be difficult. Individuals in their early twenties, for example, may be unsure about the pace at which relationships should develop, as well as where said relationships should lead. Perhaps a young adult will feel obligated to find a spouse, and will be depressed if unable to quickly find a loving relationship. It is normal and healthy for young adults to want to eventually find someone who will be their partner for life, but finding such a companion instantly is not necessary.

While young adulthood may be a time for individuals to seek life-long partners, it is important that people of this age group be psychologically and socially prepared to commit to marriage, or even cohabitation,  before becoming involved in a serious relationship with a romantic partner. For instance, it is essential that an individual understand what he or she expects out of a relationship, as well as the qualities that are desirable in a mate, before settling down with one person.

According to Arnett (2004), young adulthood is a period during which individuals date several people, allowing them to find out the characteristics they want in a romantic partner (as cited in Allen and Meier, 2008). Arnett is suggesting that young adults date several people, instead of tying themselves down with just one significant other, so they can find the best mate possible. Because young adulthood is a period of exploration and personal growth, Arnett’s view is beneficial to young people’s understanding of relationships during the transition to adulthood. Individuals need not feel isolated if they cannot find a long-term romantic partner immediately; simply meeting new people and exploring different personalities can have a positive impact.

In addition to discovering several types of people and the qualities they possess, it is also helpful for young adults to be aware of their own, unique identities before beginning committed romantic relationships. Seiffge-Krenke (2003) has noted that individuals’ views of themselves are an important part of romantic relationships, as only those with an established identity are able to successfully form partnerships with members of the opposite sex. That being said, it is helpful for young adults to develop their own interests, and maintain those interests once finding a romantic partner. Similarly, a positive self concept can lead to individuals experiencing more rewarding romantic relationships once they find an acceptable partner.

In a study conducted by the University of Rochester, research showed that a person’s self concept is related to their relationship concept (Kim, 2006). Because of this, people would not be absurd to assume that if they have a positive perception of themselves, they will also view their relationship in a more optimistic manner. Having a strong sense of self, then, can contribute to the success of romantic relationships in young adulthood.

Self concept is obviously a key component of relationships, both romantic and platonic, and having a positive view of oneself can have a significant and beneficial impact on the intimate relationships that individuals seek to engage in during young adulthood.

Furthermore, once people of this age group are aware of what they desire in a lifelong partner, they should feel confident in their ability to experience thriving, close relationships with members of the opposite sex. While the development of such relationships is favorable, young adults should not feel pressured to rush into them before being psychologically-prepared to do so.